A thesis diary

Let’s start with a trivial statement. When I started my PhD project back in October 2016 I really did not expect writing-up time to arrive so quickly.  And yet it did. Here I am, about 2 years and 7 months and a few million crypts scored later, starting to write. Now I do love writing, prose more than science, but in any case writing a PhD thesis feels like a very, very daunting task. So I’ve given myself quite a bit of time and a vague timeline to follow. And a safety net of 1 month (which turns into holiday if I do succeed in sticking to my plan yay). My timeline starts on the 1^st o May, 4 months before my artificial deadline, 5 months before the hard one imposed by my PhD programme. I figured it might be quite fun to look back on this time in 5, 10 years and reflect on it, so I’ll try and write a little diary about it.  Who knows, maybe reading it may also serve someone who finds himself in the same position in the future. In the worst case, I’ve provided myself with some excellent “writing warm-up” for every day (aka procrastination). Here we go.

Day 1

It is the 1^st of May. My writing start date. Unfortunately I’m in the lab, having to finish a bunch of stuff and be present in case our rotation student needs help. In between those things I stare at my screen and try to make a skeleton of my thesis/ a  decent plan on paper (actual paper. I like using pen and paper much more than I like typing on a computer. I also have a fountain pen that I’ve used for every single important bit of writing I’ve ever done by hand since I was 12 years old. So yeah.) It does not go well. How on earth am I ever going to get any logical structure into this mess of experiments? I get home rather upset. I do some gardening to take my mind off it and watch Ex on the beach to push my dwindling self-esteem.

Day 2

Still working on that skeleton plus trying to start writing my first results chapter, which is all about method development. Still in the lab, same reasons as above. It’s not going well. I feel like I don’t have proper records of certain experiments I did. I panic. I go to the lab and look for microscopy slides to take better pictures. I fail to find them. I find them an hour later. They are not good enough. I panic. I speak to a senior researcher in the lab. He thinks I don’t need the pictures, just a table. I breathe for the first time in a few hours. A friend texts me and asks if I want to join for a wine tasting dinner for £30 instead of £80. I invite along the rotation student and spend until midnight drinking 8 glasses of rather tasty Bordeaux wine alongside 5 courses of delicious food. I get home feeling less stressed but positively dizzy.

Day 3

As one could have expected I don’t feel good. I cancel my morning swimming session and go to the lab to help the rotation student with some experiments, look for more of the microscopy slides, talk to my boss and just generally procrastinate.  I also attend a session about programming in R, which I find quite hard to follow due to last night’s activities. Alas, at 3:30 pm I decide there is no point and cycle to the garden centre to pick up some slug granules (They have been feasting on my sugar snap pea seedlings and hence deserve to die).  In the evening I watch Ex on the beach again and feel sorry for myself. I go to bed early, hopeful for a relaxing weekend.

Day 4 + 5 (weekend)

For once I decide to take a full weekend off. I spend quality time with my partner, the garden and the kitchen. I also attend a 60^th birthday BBQ in Woking and just generally have fun. This should energise me for the next week of writing.

Day 6

Today is a bank holiday . I travel to Switzerland to my parents’ house for what I like to call a “writing retreat”. I manage to work a little at the airport but other than that not so much, as I spend the evening with my parents. I go to bed early such that I can get a lot of writing done the next day.

Day 7

I spend the whole morning, from 7 am until 12 noon working pretty much non stop. I’m not very pleased with my writing as it proceeds very slowly, with a lot of time spent looking up references (the classic “I know this but I don’t know why I know it”). At least I do progress though. I feel stressed. After lunch I go see two friends who are secondary school teachers. It’s nice to get reminded of the “real world” and gossip about various useless people. The chat leaves me revitalized so I work for another few hours before dinner. I’m reasonably happy with my progress today so I go and watch the Swiss version of The Bachelorette with a dear childhood friend. It’s so cringe.  Love it.

Day 8

I start the day with a 6 am session with my old swim team. It’s tough but also very fun and again a healthy “reality check” as there are no scientists on the team. When I get home I have a cappuccino and do a bit of medium quality writing. Then I drive to Germany with my parents to look at wedding dresses. It’s very fun and makes me happy. After lunch I put in a few good hours of work, though I’m not really all that happy with the amount of words I’ve written. In the evening we have dinner at a restaurant with my brother and then do an escape room. My parents love it which makes me happy.

Day 9

Today is the last day of my writing retreat and so far I have not progressed too well. In the morning I work for an hour then go see a friend with a kid. We play for quite a while and have lunch and its fun but I start getting stressed about not writing. I then take a bus to the airport where  I sit and do solid writing. Very solid in fact, as a French air control strike gives me extra time for this. For the first time since I started writing I actually feel good about what I produce. I feel like some sort of cohesive narrative is coming out. I also realize there are a bunch of qPCRs I may need to run again, as the figures are ok for a first year report but not a PhD thesis. Back to the lab next week I reckon. Tomorrow in fact, to discuss some stuff with our rotation student. Anyway I land into Gatwick at 7 pm, and catch a direct train (BONUS) to Cambridge. Manage to work on a figure on the train yay.