Remove the chilli

Sometimes I think the only thing that will save humanity these days is an alien attack.

But anyway, currently, my life in the lab ties me to my computer screen. Specifically, it ties me to the counting of structures that I affectionately call “fufi”. (According to the urban dictionary this is an innocent word for female genitalia but I am trying to establish it as a properly scientific term.) By the way my lab now actually uses the term and I love it. Anyway these are intestinal crypts that stick together. Maybe I should quickly explain. 

The mammalian intestine is lined by a single layer of cells that forms invaginations called crypts and protrusions called villi (note, however, that the colon lacks villi). It is a very rapidly turning over tissue and this is fuelled by the division of stem cells, which reside at the bottom of the crypts. So , crypts are pretty essential for your gut to function properly, as they house the stem cells that make new cells to replace ones that are no longer functional. Unfortunately, those same stem cells are also where we think cancer starts, when the stem cells acquire mutations in their DNA. Anyway, that’s enough science. The point is, it looks like crypts can divide (FIssion) and also merge (FUsion) – hence the term FUFI. Unfortunately, it’s damn hard to observe this process in a live human (I haven’t tried, actually, but just think about it). This is why we have to resort to using tissue that’s been removed from people by surgical resection. We fix it in formaldehyde and embed it in wax. And then we chop it into superthin sections. Or rather, a friendly histopathology assistant expertly performs this action. At this point the tissue reaches my excited self and I stain it. 

And then I count the fufis. I count hundreds and thousands of them. In hundreds of sections. For hours and hours. And yes, you are right – I don’t have a life. But at the same time, I actually do. Because the convenient thing about fufi counting (and admittedly, any type of computer-based work) is that you can do it anywhere, as in, anywhere that allows for human survival (eg the surface of Mars might be tricky)(Ok I admit that wasn’t my best joke ever). So today, I took advantage of the flexibility of fufi counting to go engage in that fascinating activity at my friend’s flat. At lunchtime I got on the train to Kings X and 1h later (including a typical “I am so sorry but we are being held at a red light” 10 minute creativity break) I was there, ready to take on the next 100,000 crypts. (The excitement is real.) My lovely friend had prepared a delicious lunch during which we discussed adult matters such as the hotness of Enrique Iglesias and also a recent wedding I had attended which featured me having to leave for 1.5 h to eat a cheese omelette at a café while everyone else had their meal. I know. I’ll write a separate blog post about that some other time. Having concluded that Enrique was indeed very hot and that such a situation was unheard of we then sat down to work solidly, with an iced coffee and a berry break. So healthy I can’t. Yes apparently coffee is very good for you in fact a recent meta-analysis found that 4 cups daily result in the most desirable health outcomes. So there you go. 

Around 6:30 pm we decided to cook dinner. And you’re probably thinking sweet jesus this is such a boring blog post. And you’re probably right. We cooked palak paneer, the recipe for which included a large chilli, which we chopped up and threw into the pan. Happily chatting away we bubbled our spice-infused situation, fried our paneer and wilted our spinach. Until we got to the end of the recipe where it read “remove the chili”. So then, as I am used to repetitive boring tasks like fufi counting, I painstakenly removed every small bit of chilli I could find in the pan. The meal was delicious. Shortly after I got on the train back to Cambridge, obviously filling the 50 minutes (can you believe it? No red light?) with some beautiful sufis. 

Actually, what I really wanted to illustrate with this blog post is how much I love the flexibility of my life as a PhD student/scientist. I can have a very random work pattern and adapt it to whatever else I like to do with my life. Such as swimming and socialising. Or picking chili pieces out of Indian dishes. It is truly wonderful and I don’t think I would ever want to exchange it for any other type of job. And yes, that chilli bit was obviously not true.